I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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