So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
