No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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