uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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