don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
