I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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