Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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