I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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