this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
