I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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