How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
