but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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