As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
