I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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