well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
