i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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