gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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