let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
