At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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