Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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