Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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