so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
