No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
