Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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