flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
