Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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