After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
