giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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