i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
