Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
