she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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