I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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