is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
