I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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