Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
