Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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