I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
