apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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