ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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