I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
