ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
