still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
