the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
