she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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