After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
