North Korea, Best Korea!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
