I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
