her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
