Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
