i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
