Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
