I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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