What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
