And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
