Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize