did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to calm my uterus...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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