no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
