wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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