we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
