He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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