And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
