You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
