I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
