Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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